October 21, 2017, 11:13:47 pm

Author Topic: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)  (Read 3207 times)

Pimp Willy

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #50 on: March 13, 2017, 07:29:44 pm »
Haha I forgot about the second round. Lets at least extend it during the mafia game
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Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #51 on: March 13, 2017, 08:11:05 pm »
Ditto, or just base it off the first write up

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Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #52 on: March 14, 2017, 08:37:18 am »
I'll extend it cause honestly I forgot to check on Saturday anyway.
Just get them in ASAP please.
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RadicalFuzz

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #53 on: March 16, 2017, 07:48:11 am »
Fuck
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Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #54 on: March 18, 2017, 02:25:45 pm »
Mafia game over, now finish your writeups.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2017, 02:26:05 pm by Bious »
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Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #55 on: March 19, 2017, 03:30:56 am »
I'll have mine in tomorrow or day after. Still cleaning the old house so I can get my bond back.

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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #56 on: March 19, 2017, 06:29:05 pm »
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DrWilgy

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #57 on: March 19, 2017, 06:52:44 pm »
I can try to do mine via phone again if I don't get my cpu set up tomorrow.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2017, 06:53:14 pm by DrWilgy »
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God damn wiggles, that's one of the best deaths I've had.

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #58 on: March 21, 2017, 06:43:31 pm »
@RadicalFuzz has won a cookie for being the first to submit his writeup!


Everyone else gets a Toogs for lateness. Synonym gets another Toogs for his first writeup, and ANOTHER one for thinking he got a cookie.
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Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #59 on: March 21, 2017, 11:36:27 pm »
@RadicalFuzz has won a cookie for being the first to submit his writeup!


Everyone else gets a Toogs for lateness. Synonym gets another Toogs for his first writeup, and ANOTHER one for thinking he got a cookie.

YES! Three stars!
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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

Pimp Willy

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #60 on: March 22, 2017, 04:00:25 pm »
I tried something different on my second one, but it just ended up feeling kind of shittier than I had hoped, oh well
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Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #61 on: March 22, 2017, 06:47:15 pm »
Pimp Willy gets a cookie AND a Toogs.

@DrWilgy gets two more Toogs for being the last to finish and another two Toogs to make @Synonym jealous. Now finish already!
« Last Edit: March 22, 2017, 06:47:33 pm by Bious »
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✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #62 on: March 22, 2017, 07:12:07 pm »
Wilgy you're holding up both games you fucker.
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #63 on: March 22, 2017, 07:31:49 pm »
I tried something different on my second one, but it just ended up feeling kind of shittier than I had hoped, oh well
This is my second write up as well.

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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #64 on: March 23, 2017, 11:55:00 pm »
@DrWilgy You got till the end of tomorrow or Jesus will weep.
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DrWilgy

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #65 on: March 24, 2017, 10:15:35 am »
I have no computer atm

I'll write on my phone tonight.
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God damn wiggles, that's one of the best deaths I've had.

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #66 on: March 26, 2017, 12:12:18 am »
You were warned Wilgy.

And now while we judge your writings, have a bonus round.

BONUS: It's the dream scenario! Civ Alpha is about to pull a game-winning lynch on Mafia Radicalfuzz! But wait.... Radicalfuzz reverses it and manages to lynch Alpha and win the game for Mafia!

Using the remaining scenarios, write a writeup on that. You will be scored based on how much disgust Alpha feels reading your writeup and how much I laugh.

Spy vs Spy
Wild West
My Little Pony (Synonum)
Death At The Grand Ball
Indie Game Face-Off
Veggietales
« Last Edit: March 26, 2017, 04:22:43 pm by Bious »
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✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #67 on: March 26, 2017, 01:38:53 am »
MOCK WRITE UPS IS CANCELLED. RATCHET GLADIATOR SIGN UPS ARE NOW CLOSING IN 1 WEEK.
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #68 on: March 26, 2017, 01:33:59 pm »
My Little pony.

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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #69 on: March 26, 2017, 02:27:01 pm »
We on the judging panel would just like to point out that the bonus round is optional. Jesus is allowed to weep for this one.
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #70 on: March 26, 2017, 04:22:18 pm »
@Pimp Willy
@RadicalFuzz
@DrWilgy

Come get yo Bonus Points.

@Cobalt Too I guess.
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Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #71 on: March 26, 2017, 04:23:28 pm »
Post your bonus writeups in the thread by the way.
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Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #72 on: March 29, 2017, 12:54:10 pm »
Bonus Round ends Friday Evening.
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Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #73 on: March 29, 2017, 03:51:33 pm »
Applejack stood over the still-cooling remains of Princess Celestia. A single tear rolled down zer good ol’ non-binary face as ze took in the battered, bleeding form of the kingdoms former Monarch. “That does it, gosh darn. This ‘ere rapin’ of our Queen has pissed me oufff”. Applejack clopped zer way to the town square. When ze rounded the stable nearest the fountain, Rarity noticed that Applejack was fixin’ for a fight. “What’s got you so fired up Appy” said Rarity. “I jis gawt back from the pony palace, and the princess was raped to death! Some no-good low-life has even cut her head off!” All of the ponies gasped, once Rarity had translated Applejacks ramblings into normal words. “But who would do such a thing? Was it Princess Luna?” one of the other ponies (who probably have names but I refuse to research this any further) exclaimed. “Oh no, this was treachery most foul. We’ve got a lyin’ snake in the grass, right here in Ponytown.” Applejack began pacing while zer agitation grew. Reaching one dextrous hoof into zer saddlebag, Applejack withdrew several rainbow coloured strands of mane. The crowd gasped; surely it couldn’t be the beloved retarded speedster Rainbow Dash. But the more Applejack slurred, the more the town started to agree with zer that Rainbow Dash needed to die.

“Rainbow Dash! Git yer ass out ‘ere and fight me like a man” hollered Applejack, confident in this confrontation now that ze had the crowd's blessing. Rainbow Dash, who had been hiding behind a nearby bush jumped out. Two bigger stallions went and restrained Rainbow. Leading him into the town square where the gallows already stood, Applejack decided to revel in zer victory. “Well well well, dis has been a state-sponsored execution I’ve been looking forward to for a long, long time. I’ve finally caught you, you son of a bitch. Well, boy, you got any last words before we send you to the good Pony God for judgement?” Instead of looking scared or angry, Rainbow Dash looked triumphant. Opening their mouth, Rainbow Dash uttered a single phrase. “Did you just assume my gender?”

A deathly silence swept over the crowd. No-one could believe how transphobic Applejack was. None of them were surprised, after all its well-known that southern folk aren’t as learned as the more social conscious northerners. Nodding their manes, the town collective decided that there was only one course of action available to them. Removing the noose from a grinning Rainbow Dash, Applejack was instead forced into the gallows ze had previously been gloating on. “No, git yer mits off of me. What are ye doin’ you yellow-bellied cowards. He’s the one who raped and beheaded our leader, not me!”
“STOP ASSUMING RAINBOW’S GENDER YOU SOUTHERN HICK!” screamed Rarity, as she was the only other pony present with a name. The town’s fervent chanting of accepting people’s differences drowned out Applejack’s increasingly incomprehensible defence. Seizing control of the gallows lever, Rainbow Dash activated the controls. A snap thunk resounded, as Applejack fell through the floor. Unfortunately, the design of the gallows was not high enough to ensure a quick neck snap. Instead, Applejack was forced to hang in place, jerking and twitching as the life was strangled out of zer body.

Stepping into zer line of sight, Rainbow Dash began to laugh in an unrecognisable voice. “I can’t believe that worked. After all of this time, I’ve finally gotten my revenge. Ponytown is ours now!” Reaching one hoof up to his head, Rainbow Dash pulled off his furry suit mask, revealing a stupid Persian face underneath it. “For you see I was never your beloved Rainbow Dash. Instead, I am known as Rainbow Da'esh: Brony of Allah”. If possible, Applejack’s eyes bulged even further out of zer head as the gravity of the town’s betrayal finally forced zer to suffer a catastrophic brain aneurysm.

*Alpha* was Lynched, *Alpha* was Applejack. Game over, Mafia is Magic.
Roles:
*Alpha* - UC (Applejack)
RadicalFuzz – Bomb (Rainbow Da'esh)
Lando – Civilian (Rarity)
« Last Edit: April 01, 2017, 03:46:11 pm by Synonym »
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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #74 on: March 29, 2017, 03:55:37 pm »
Y'all niggas might as well just forfeit at this point.
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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #75 on: March 29, 2017, 05:42:49 pm »
I'll give you a 10 if I don't have to read that.
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #76 on: March 30, 2017, 10:35:56 am »
5/7 Alpha disgust reaction.
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RadicalFuzz

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #77 on: March 30, 2017, 08:43:43 pm »
Damn, put this off too long and don't have time to write one.
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✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #78 on: March 30, 2017, 10:58:08 pm »
Damn, put this off too long and don't have time to write one.

Don't worry, it's just a bonus round. There's no penalty for not writing it.
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Pimp Willy

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #79 on: March 31, 2017, 04:20:51 pm »
Sorry game, running late. Will come back and fill in the details later, but wanted to get results up fast

Day 1 results:

Quote
RadicalFuzz was Lynched!
RadicalFuzz was Explosives Expert!

Quote
RadicalFuzz Explored and Killed Alpha!
Alpha was Cowboy Ringleader!

It is now night phase, results are due in 12 hours
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Kaz is a better mafia player than I

Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #80 on: March 31, 2017, 05:01:45 pm »
Sorry game, running late. Will come back and fill in the details later, but wanted to get results up fast

Day 1 results:

It is now night phase, results are due in 12 hours

Probably the most accurate JTM write-up in this contest.
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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

Missing Person

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #81 on: March 31, 2017, 07:01:50 pm »
@Pimp Willy: I've got this "I owe you a write-up" thing on lock.
@Hecatom: Hold my cerveza.
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"I love you, you love me. Barney raped me by the sea." --Synonym
"Why do I feel like I'm being fooled by you both?  I can't find the penis.  I need to find the penis." --Augustus
"Nobody can read baby." --Pimp Willy
"Get your goddamn Battle Arena Toshinden shit out of my Tekken." --Souther
"That's when I decided to give up on my dream to become an X-Man and begin pursuing girls." --tortugagrande, champion of all our hearts.

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #82 on: April 01, 2017, 11:58:26 am »
Bonus Round over.
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✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #83 on: April 06, 2017, 02:39:53 am »
Got official word from Bious that the judges can start releasing their reviews. So let's put the best reviewer first.

Round 1
RadicalFuzz
Impact: 5/10
Overall, the story did what it had to do. It included the characters and delivered the big reveal, but there were no defining moments apart from PW’s assassination. 10/10 if a picture of MP in a Sailor suit was included.
Theme: 7/10
I like the use of the three different teams to separate the roles. Having Anime Fighters vs. FGC vs. Mr. Wiz’s team could make for some interesting write-ups. However, I don’t think the characters were used to their full potential.
Length: 6/10
For a final write-up, this definitely needed more content. The big reveal and the final showdown were all anticlimactic.
Grammar: 8/10
-1 (Missing commas)
-1 (Missing punctuation in quote)
Style: 6/10
Formatting fit with conventional standards and the sum up at the bottom made it feel like a real end-game write-up. I liked the inner monologue parts, but the deaths needed to be more exciting.
✰Alpha✰ points: 6/10
+1 (Sailor MP)
+1 (MP vs. PW)
-1 (Alpha dies)
+1 (Anime fighters are the enemy of the FGC)
+1 (Alpha is Third Strike)
+1 (Bious is McRibs)
+1 (RadicalFuzz loses)
+1 (Synonym is Yahoo eSports)

Pimp Willy
Impact: 5/10
Well written and captivating enough to finish without getting bored, but there was nothing in particular that stood out enough to want to read it again. Also, as a final write-up (the theme of this game), there was a lot of room for inclusion of other characters and end-game information (winning players/teams, ideally with role list).
Theme: 8/10
I like how the mascots use evidence to credit/discredit the others (correlation of murders to fast food restaurants); however, I would have preferred the murders to fit with the theme and be health related. Also, Peyton Manning’s name is bolded to indicate a character, but I’m assuming he was introduced just for the write-up.
Length: 10/10
Everything that you intended to cover was covered without drawing it out unnecessarily or squishing it in at the last minute. Well paced.
Grammar: 7/10
-1 (Inappropriate use of commas)
-1 (“Ladies and gentleman” should be “Lady and gentlemen”? I count multiple male characters and only one female.)
-1 (Missing apostrophe)
Style: 8/10
Ronald McDonald’s alibi and the final punchline brought the Pimp Willy factor into the story while keeping it written cleanly enough to read without issue. The one part I think that weighs down the write-up most is the cliché “mob mentality” lynch.
✰Alpha✰ points: 6/10
+1 (Ronald CP)
+1 (Ronald bestiality)
+1 (Watching Ronald x Dog for hours)
+1 (Death by explosive diarrhoea)
+1 (Taco Bell dog eating shit)
+1 (Peyton Manning reference)

Synonym
Impact: 10/10
This would be a contender in the Golden Crust Awards. References to players and previous events didn’t distract from the story being well written.
Theme: 8/10
Excellent consistency with weeaboo waifu references, but I was a little unsure about the choices of roles for the Otaku team. The write up worked because of the players that were assigned those roles, but in a real game, Civ roles would have to be rethought out.
Length: 10/10
Not too long, not too short. I wasn’t left wanting more or waiting for the write-up to end.
Grammar: 5/10
-1 (Punctuation missing in quotation marks)
-1 (Asuka, not Auska)
-1 (Misuse of hyphens)
-1 (Otaku plural is Otakus, not Otaku’s)
-1 (Missing commas)
Style: 10/10
Attention to detail about the individual characters, as well as the behaviours and characteristics of the Otakus made the story flow well and made it pleasing to read.
✰Alpha✰ points: 9/10
+1 (Body pillows and wallscrolls)
+1 (Making the Civ team Otakus)
+1 (Euphoric neckbeards)
+1 (Pantsu)
+1 (Tranny traitor)
+1 ((S)he)
+1 (Lando Calrissian)
+1 (Godzilla raping dog)
+1 (XXXXL cargo shorts)
-1 (Mafia Traitor that wins with Civs wouldn’t work)
+1 (Inclusion of Alpha as Light, Bious as raped dog and RadicalFuzz as cum drowning victim)

Cobalt
Impact: 0/10
Theme: 0/10
Length: 0/10
Grammar: 0/10
Style: 0/10
✰Alpha✰ points: 0/10

DrWilgy
Impact: 6/10
As far as a fight goes, this one was what I’d expect for a regular Day post. Good quality, but not final write-up good. I want more build up, more story and more… just more really.
Theme: 7/10
I liked how the Fire Emblem game covers different parts of different games. The mechanics look like they’ve been thought out to match the theme, and the teams, items and characters have been fit to work for the game. I would’ve liked to have seen more of the world though.
Length: 3/10
Like I said, this is exactly the sort of write-up I’d want around Day 4. I’d want to see effort put in, but I wouldn’t want the game delayed for the sake of the write-up. For a final write up, this is your chance to go all out.
Grammar: 4/10
-1 (Sieglinde, not Seiglinde)
-1 (in AN attempt to strike first)
-1 (Missing commas)
-1 (Charring, not charing)
-1 (Gases, not gasses)
-1 (Missing period)
Style: 6/10
The premise of the game being an arena style combat for lynches makes for an interesting style of write-up. The flavour of the writing was nicely done, with great detail on the death. With fixing up the previous issues and maybe more flavour text, this could’ve been a 10/10. Also needed more game details due to this being an end-game write-up.
✰Alpha✰ points: 6/10
+1 (Alpha vs. Fuzz)
+1 (Master Seal)
+3 (Fuzz’s death in high detail)
+1 (Alpha wins)


Round 2
RadicalFuzz
Impact: 9/10
Scoring this one highly because this is the sort of bullshit scenario I could see happening in a real game. Multiple different components all fit together in the story and it even includes a punchline based on something said early on. Only problem is that the reveal wasn’t as climactic as it could’ve been.
Theme: 7/10
I liked the multiple references to the different game shows, such as the wheel and slime, but there was more potential to over-exaggerate the theme to fit with how game shows exaggerate. This is especially highlighted with Augustus’ death being just a shot to the head, despite all the cool props from the different shows that could’ve been used.
Length: 9/10
For what was presented, everything was spaced out and paced well. With some more flavour text to specific events, this would’ve been a 10.
Grammar: 8/10
-1 (Missing commas)
-1 (Missing punctuation in quotes)
Style: 4/10
Overall, I really liked the story and how the characters acted based on their TV shows and on their player. However, there were a LOT of contradictions in this write-up that ruined it from being a plausible game:
-It’s mentioned early on that Augustus was killed and revealed as one of the Mafia, but then he gets lynched again through the wheel.
-The title of Alpha’s show changes from Game Show Game Show to Game Show Deathmatch.
-DrWilgy was killed during the Night (implying he was Mafia killed), but the end results reveal he was Mafia.
-It’s mentioned that they can’t say that DrWilgy died on national TV, but the Augustus is shot in front of a live studio audience.
✰Alpha✰ points: 6/10
+1 (Alpha hosting the game)
+1 (Alpha actively trying to get Fuzz slimed)
+1 (Legends of the Hidden Temple)
+1 (Secret phrase)
+1 (Biased GM wanting Fuzz to die)
+1 (Wheel of Lynches)
-1 (“Nobody lynches the Fuzz”)
+1 (Fuzz gets slimed)

Pimp Willy
Impact: 8/10
This is probably one of the best examples of how a write-up doesn’t need to be R-rated to be good (which fits with the Pixar theme). Would give a 10/10, however, Bious specifically made this game as a “final write-up” game. I do like the creative liberty you took though.
Theme: 8/10
I could see this being an interesting game where I’d anticipate the write up and how the story progresses. Just a few things:
-Shelby Forthright is the character that owns Buy n Large, played by Fred Willard.
-Sheriff (who?) is listed as a Resistance role, but not mentioned in the write-up. Is Woody a UC and a Lover?
Length: 8/10
Everything included is succinct and to the point, which makes it easy to get a grasp of the game. I would’ve liked more backstory though.
Grammar: 7/10
-1 (Monsters Inc. has a period, Buy n Large is a lowercase n)
-1 (Sulley, not Sully or Scully)
-1 (Missing apostrophes)
Style: 10/10
Everything down to the formatting made this look like a real write-up. The story was nicely spaced, I didn’t get lost at any point of it and all the individual pieces tied up together to fit the game world. The roles also make the game look like one I would want to play.
✰Alpha✰ points: 2/10
+1 (Boo’s role is kinda like Amanda’s in Revenge)
+1 (Several mentions of despair)
0 (I would give more points here for my overall enjoyment of the write-up, but I’d have to deduct them again since this was meant to be a final write-up)

Synonym
Impact: 4/10
I’m glad to see some description of the actual battle in a celebrity death match, but the flow of the match made it odd to read and hard to follow.
Theme: 2/10
A final write-up with only two celebrities. Even with just these two characters, there was room for more influence from the theme. As far as a death match goes, I’m not sure if trying to pin for 3 and calling out someone on a technicality are appropriate.
Length: 2/10
You did what you needed to with the little amount of information you had with the source material.
Grammar: 7/10
-1 (Waverly, not Wavely)
-1 (Missing comma)
-1 (No closing quotation marks)
Style: 3/10
I did like that each of the fighters did have a theme that they stuck to, but not much outside of that. The way it was read out made it unclear as to how the scene was built and what was happening outside the fight. Also, from a technical point of view, I had trouble seeing this as a Mafia game. This read better as a poorly thought out Arena write-up than an end-game Mafia write-up.
✰Alpha✰ points: 10/10
I don’t need to break this down. Miley x Selena with Alpha winning against Cobalt.

Cobalt
Impact: 0/10
Theme: 0/10
Length: 0/10
Grammar: 0/10
Style: 0/10
✰Alpha✰ points: 0/10

DrWilgy
Impact: 0/10
Theme: 0/10
Length: 0/10
Grammar: 0/10
Style: 0/10
✰Alpha✰ points: 0/10

Bonus Round
RadicalFuzz
Impact: 0/10
Theme: 0/10
Length: 0/10
Grammar: 0/10
Style: 0/10
✰Alpha✰ points: 0/10

Pimp Willy
Impact: 1/10
No deep backstory as to why you are running late. Were you at the dentist? Were you on an 18 hour flight? We need more emotional connection to the host.
Theme: 2/10
With the roles put in the game, there was much room left for exploration of who they were and what they did with their jobs.
Length: 1/10
Needed more elaboration and flavour text about the events of the Day phase.
Grammar: 7/10
-1 (Missing periods)
-1 (Exploded, not explored)
-1 (Actions, not results)
Style: 1/10
I would’ve liked to know more about the Explosives Expert and the Cowboy Ringleader, as well as the other citizens of the Wild West, but even confined to those two characters, not enough engagement was described. Also, again, this was meant to be a fucking end-game write-up, which commonly doesn’t end on Day 1 with “results” due in 12 hours.
✰Alpha✰ points: 1/10
-1 (Participation in Bious’ stupid bonus round)
+1 (RadicalFuzz also dies)
+1 (Accuracy to JTM’s write-ups)

Synonym
Impact: 10/10
I’ve got nothing to say here, the write-up speaks for itself. If you showed this without an author and player names, I’d be surprised if anyone didn’t guess this was written by me.
Theme: 10/10
This was the worst fucking theme you could’ve chosen, but goddamn you made it work. I would deduct points from you for refusing to do research on the theme, but there’s no way in hell I would’ve either.
Length: 10/10
I want to read more, but I couldn’t read that specific write-up for any longer. This write-up left me wanting more write-ups from this game (with a different ending).
Grammar: 8/10
-1 (Missing apostrophe)
-1 (Missing punctuation in quotes)
Style:
✰Alpha✰ points: 9/10
+3 (Non-binary plot)
+1 (Refusal to research)
+3 (Beloved retarded speedster RadicalFuzz)
+1 (Gender assumption)
+1 (Stupid Persian)
+3 (Rainbow Da’esh: Brony of Allah)
-1 (Participation in Bious’ stupid bonus round)
-1 (Abiding to Bious’ shitty rule about Alpha losing to RadicalFuzz on LYLO)
-1 (Lando’s betrayal)

Cobalt
Impact: 0/10
Theme: 0/10
Length: 0/10
Grammar: 0/10
Style: 0/10
✰Alpha✰ points: 0/10

DrWilgy
Impact: 0/10
Theme: 0/10
Length: 0/10
Grammar: 0/10
Style: 0/10
✰Alpha✰ points: 0/10
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #84 on: April 06, 2017, 03:35:31 am »
Fuck yeah, come on other judges. Daddy wants another golden crust award for write-ups.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #85 on: April 06, 2017, 04:34:42 am »
Fuck yeah, come on other judges. Daddy wants another golden crust award for write-ups.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk



It'd be cheating if Mock Write-Ups counted for the Golden Crust Awards.
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Pimp Willy

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #86 on: April 06, 2017, 09:49:21 am »
lol I guess I didnt even read the rules. It was really a final write up contest?
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Kaz is a better mafia player than I

Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #87 on: April 06, 2017, 09:58:11 am »
Synonym 1:
Spoiler for Hiden:
Attack on Waifu: You Can (Not) Redo

The secret society of Waifus were huddled together in the club room of Ouran High School. The girls were gathered to count their Yen after another productive day of selling body pillows and wallscrolls to the hapless Otakus. “Wow, we sure made a lot of money today” said Isabelle, her fluffy yellow tail wagging in excitement. “We’ll need to re-stock on the titty mouse pads for everyone except Auska”. “What do you mean? Are you saying my products didn’t sell out!” screeched the German tom-boy. Ciel looked up from where she was lounging near the balcony. “Well, it’s hardly surprising that the Otaku’s wouldn’t want to look at you when Rei’s around. Too bad she didn’t want to join our little club, Rei is best girl”.

Before Auska could try to wring Ciel’s delicate neck with her man-like hands, the door began to splinter under a furious onslaught. “Oh no” cried Isabelle, “the Otaku’s must have found our secret lair. But how?” As the door began to fracture further the Waifu’s began to panic. Sakura sprang into action, leaping towards the rapidly fragmenting door. “I’ll save us all with my super door-no-jutsu!” Her hands were a flurry of action as she began gathering her chakra before suddenly stopping mid-cast. The lock finally gave out and the door swung violently inwards, crushing Sakura against the wall. Haemorrhaging badly, Sakura’s last words were “6 Pages already? fuck...what's my role?”

Four figures stumbled into the room, wheezing from the exertion of opening a door. The first figure let out a euphoric laugh. “Well m’lady, the reason we found you is because of her” he pointed a cheeto-dust coated finger at Ciel. “I stumbled across her leaving the male bathrooms. Being the atheist gentle-sir that I am, I immediately grabbed her to molest her.” Two of the remaining Otakus Jason-san and Wilgy-san nodded at his logic. After all, the best way to escape the friendzone is to forcibly demonstrate your sexual prowess to the object of your affections. Stephen-sama continued to enlighten the awed Waifus with his superior intellect. “Imagine my surprise when she willingly stripped down to her pantsu and I found out that she was actually a he!” At his words, everyone gasped! The Otakus couldn’t believe that the woman they had all been jerking off to was actually a trap. Meanwhile, the Waifus were all glaring at the traitor in their midst. “Ciel! We specifically said no traps! How could you do this to us! I thought you supported our cause of getting rid of all men” Auska shouted.

Ciel stood from where (s)he had been enjoying the chaos (s)he had unleashed. “It’s quite simple darling. You see, girls are icky and I much prefer the company of these strapping lads”. Walking over to Stephen-sama, (s)he ran a hand over his replica Lando Calrissian outfit. “Let’s go darling, you can beam me up even if your name isn’t Scotty.” With a sensual wink, (s)he sashayed out of the room. “Ciel-kun! This is a grade-A replica of the Cloud City uniform. I had to beg my parents to buy me this! I’m not a trekkie fag!” Red in the face from embarrassment, Stephen-sama took a deep drag of his inhaler before pursuing Ciel.

As if the situation couldn’t get any more surreal, a giant pre-historic roar echoed throughout the room. Suddenly, the roof was ripped off, revealing the fearsome visage of Godzilla-dono. Letting out another unearthly cry, he reached down and snatched Isabelle up causing her to drop her clipboard. As she was getting sodomized to death, the scratching of a pen on paper drew the room’s attention. “moose dog raped to death by Godzilla” Light muttered to himself, before returning his Death Note to his pocket. “What!” he exclaimed, upon looking up. “It’s an easy mistake to make!” The rest of the room didn’t look convinced, as Isabelle’s sobbing faded away. As her lifeless body dropped to the ground, Wilgy-san stepped forward eager to prove himself. “Come fellow Meninists, there is only one more mastermind keeping us trapped in the friendzone!”

The mob began to advance on Auska, who shrunk back into her corner. “No, stay away from me! Go after Rei! I deserve to live, I have so much more personality than her!” But the Otaku’s advanced relentlessly. Auska was soon stripped bare, before being surrounded by a herd of hairy basement-dwellers. As one, the Otaku’s began to jerk off over her cowering frame. “Auska is worst girl. Auska is worst girl”. Over and over, they continued their chant, while furiously working their tiny members. Finally, it was over. As the Otaku’s re-zipped their XXXX-L cargo shorts, Auska lay still, drowned in a pool of semen. “Shall we go and get some Ramen now, fellow Otakus?” asked Jason-san. “Only if we can bring our girlfriends” replied Wilgy-san, motioning to his Umaru-chan body pillow. Light nodded as well, clutching his plushy Lando-kun.

Game Over! Otaku’s win!

Roles:
Alpha – Yagami Light (Day Vigi)
Bious – Isabelle from Animal Crossing (Godfather)
Cobalt – Ciel Phantomhive (Traitor, wins with Otakus)
DrWilgy - Otaku
JasonC – Otaku
Pimp Willy – Lando Calrissian (UC)
RadicalFuzz – Auska Langely Soryu (Forger)
Zoolander – Haruno Sakura (Enforcer)
Pimp Willy 1:
Spoiler for Hiden:
Day 4: Muddy Puddles

Ronald McDonald was visibly sweating. To his left, Jack was busy showing charts proving that the murder rates in America correlate directly with the amount of McDonalds in an area, and that Ronald was to blame. He quickly glanced across the faces of his peers, and most seemed enthralled with the presentation. Ronald was in trouble.

He felt a nudge under the table, and realized it was Wendy. He caught her eyes momentarily, and she smiled, but he was careful not to let anybody else notice. Their pact was secret, and it had to remain so. But her support was calming. He needed all his wits right now.

“If the fries give you the shits, you must not acquit!” said Jack, with his finger pointed square at Ronald. The applause was deafening. Jack had taken his seat, and Ronald realized everyone was waiting for him to stand up and speak. He cleared his throat, and stood in front of the conference room.

“Hello Ladies and Gentleman. I will concede that I understand your concerns, and that you think I had something to do with the murder of Grimace yesterday. But realize that he is my childhood friend. He was there for me during the health craze of the 90s, even when he was pushed out of the spotlight for being obese, he was active behind the scenes. When I was at my lowest, gun to my temple, after those patently false child porn allegations…” Ronald stopped to take a drink, his throat parched. The look on the faces of those around him made him rethink his plan of attack.

“Anyhow, he was there for me. I did not kill him. And I can prove it.” He picked up a remote control, sighed deeply, and turned on the TV. “It was not me who poisoned Grimace that night. I was busy, and I have the videotape to prove it. Here is me, the night Grimace was poisoned, having sex with…” and his voiced tapered off. Before anybody could ask him to speak up, their question was answered as the Yo Quiero Taco Bell dog appeared on camera.

“Are you serious?” exclaimed Jack, his painted on mouth changing to a giant circle to reflect his surprise. “Are you claiming your alibi was you having sex with this dog, all night?” Ronald nodded somberly.

“Yo Quiero Taco Bell” barked the dog, who ashamedly laid his head down on the conference table and covered one eye with his paw to hide his shame.

The rest of the room sat in shocked silence, watching Ronald McDonald and the dog go at it. Seconds stretched into minutes; minutes into hours. Before long, the entire room was well versed in the intricacies of man on dog sex, including the best position to take a dog's penis into your mouth. And they watched every minute out of morbid curiosity. Eventually, the tape ended.

“And thus, it was impossible for me to be killing Grimace at the same time.” The room knew he was right, but that made them no less horrified.

“It must have been Jack!” piped up Wendy quickly. A murmur went through the room. “He framed Ronald! He has to die!”

“Now, now, hold on a second…” started Jack, but it was too late, the mob mentality had taken over. As the rest of the room confronted Jack, Wendy snuck over to Ronald and took his hand. Ronald, relieved, took another sip of the water.

“See, I told you it would be okay dear” said Wendy. Ronald nodded, seemingly distracted. “Only now I’m not the Grimace killer, but just a Dog Fucker.”

“Better than dead” chimed in Wendy. But she noticed something weird in Ronalds face. “Are you okay? Ronald?”

Ronald doubled over in pain, and clutched his stomach. His eyes went wide. “No, no not like this” said Ronald, as he let out the loudest fart of his life. It was loud enough to draw the attention of the crowd who had just put Jack to death. He fell onto the floor, and began evacuating his bowels all over the floor, just like Grimace.

“No!” screamed Wendy, who threw herself onto the floor to help him. “God damn you Sneak King, how dare you kill Ronald!” she sobbed, watching him convulse as oodles of shit spread around him. The Taco Bell dog wandered over near the end of the puddle and began lapping it up. Wendy reached into her waistband, and pulled a gun from there, pushing against her own temple.

“If he goes, I go!” she screamed, before pulling the trigger and ending her own life.

The rest of the room was silent. Ronald had stopped moving, Wendy had died crumpled over his dead body, the Taco Bell dog was lapping up shitty puddles, and Jack had been beaten to death. In the corner, Peyton Manning spoke up between bites of Papa John’s Pizza.

“Anybody want to watch the sex tape again?”


Radicalfuzz 1:
Spoiler for Hiden:
Night 3: Did we win?

Pimp Willy was pacing inside his penthouse suite at the Mandalay Bay. He roll cancelled his donation drive with frame perfect timing but someone still hit him out of it and Marvel VS Capcom 2 lived on. What could possibly be more powerful than Street Fighter V and his McRibs? Before he could contemplate further a strange figure burst through the large window walls adorning the suite. Before Pimp Willy could object, the figure began speaking in a strange tongue and dancing some odd choreographed routine.

~Fighting evil by moonlight~

"Excuse me?"

~Winning love by daylight~

"What even are you?!"

~Never running from a real fight~

"I'd appreciate it if you started speaking in English."

~I am the one named Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon Kick!~

Missing Person thrust his foot into Pimp Willy's considerable gut, sending the latter across the room until he became firmly embedded in the concrete wall. Dying, Pimp Willy finally realized what had been stopping him from complete domination of the FGC. He was so caught up on murdering Marvel VS Capcom 2 that he hadn't realized that Anime Fighters were the real threat. Accepting defeat, Pimp Willy bowed his head and quietly bled out. Missing Person struck a victory pose for the nonexistant audience, celebrating, and then left through the same hole he made in his entrance.



The next day, the Fighting Games assembled on the stage for Top 8 but Mr. Wizard was nowhere to be found. In fact, a lot of the corporate advertisements were missing too. Vynce spoke up first.

"Did...we win?"

"Depends on who you are Vynce."

The owner of the voice, DrWilgy, stepped forward. He had a brown paper bag over his head and brandished an exceptionally large scalpel.

"It's time, everyone. Anime Fighters, reveal yourselves!"

Missing Person stripped off his clothes before being covered in a swirling light, revealing his true identity to be Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon S. Fruit Punch Samurai G ran up to him, ranting maniacally about how much he hated his brother and what awful torture he had planned for him when he caught up with him. ForgeDigger unenthusiastically put on a cheap pink wig.

"So...we're gonna be okay now?" ✰Alpha✰ asked?

Missing Person pulled out a revolver and shot Alpha straight between the eyes.

"Say hi to Wiz for me"





The game is over! Anime Fighters win! The FGC loses! Mr. Wizard and his team lose!

Roles:
Missing Person - Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon S
DrWilgy - Guilty Gear
Fruit Punch Samurai G - Blazblue
ForgeDigger - Arcana Heart

Vynce - The King of Fighters '98
✰Alpha✰ - Street Fighter: Third Strike
kaz - Mortal Kombat III
The Chief - Marvel VS Capcom 2

Pimp Willy - Mr. Wizard
Bious - McRibs
RadicalFuzz - Street Fighter V
Synonym - Yahoo eSports

DrWilgy 1:
Spoiler for Hiden:
Sorry bout the delay, I wasn't expecting Wilgette's parents tonight and it kinda destroyed what time I had for this. This takes place in a Fire Emblem game that spans the entire series. Civs are Avatars of Light while Mafia are Avatars of Darkness. Lynch votes result in a duel between the two that receive the most votes.

~~

After a short delay and a flash of light, both Alpha and Fuzz were transported to the colosseum.

Fuzz, wielding the Seiglinde, darted at Alpha in attempt to strike first. To his surprise, Alpha sidestepped his strike and pulled a Master Seal from his cloak. It spun rapidly as light enveloped Alpha ranking him up from a Dark Mage into a Dark Knight.

Fuzz attempted to regain his footing, but it was too late. Flames roaring from Alpha's Bolganone tome had surrounded him.

The fire lashed at Fuzz, striking and sticking to his hands. The skin around his fingers began charing and flaking away revealing his blistering muscles underneath.

Seiglinde dropped to the ground as the flames crept up Fuzz's arms. All the fluids within Fuzz began to boil as more and more of his body was enveloped in fire. Popping sounds were heard from outside the flame. Alpha laughed as he knew the steaming gasses inside Fuzz's body were rupturing what muscles and skin he had left.

Alpha closed his tome and the fire died down. What little of Fuzz remained were bones and organs falling out of a charred and shattered skin sack.

Alpha has ranked up from a Dark Mage to a Dark Knight.

Fuzz has lost the duel with Alpha, Fuzz was the avatar of...
Spoiler for Hiden:
Prince Lyon
You are the mad prince of Grado and a powerful necromancer. You may target 1 dead player a night and take one of their items at random

All the Avatars of Darkness have been defeated and Naga has been saved. The Avatars of Light have won!

Cobalt 1 & 2:
Spoiler for Hiden:

Radicalfuzz 2:
Spoiler for Hiden:
Alpha stepped up onto the dimly lit stage, breathing deeply. He began preperations for the Game Show Game Show, taking care to place RadicalFuzz's spot under the slime dispenser. Yes, today was going to be a good day. Clapping his hands together, pleased with his work, he called everyone onstage. Vynce was the first to arrive, trotting onstage while pointing to the audience behind the lens and asking them if they were, in fact, smarter than a fifth grader. Synonym was next, lackadaisically spouting a one liner about some hidden temple. Various other television personalities filled the room until almost everyone was present. The only missing host was DrWilgy. Everyone silently knew that he had been killed last night, but you couldn't just say that on national television. Alpha turned to the live studio audience and whispered "The secret phrase is 'Lynch Fuzz'." And with that, the show officially began.


As if on cue the game show hosts turned to each other and started squabbling about who could've killed DrWilgy. ForgeDigger pointed out Blindknagg's friendship with the deceased Augustus, one of the two game show hosts sent to kill them all. Blindknagg denied, claiming that it was actually Missing Person who looked the most suspicious. To his credit Missing Person was calm and collected, cool as a cucumber. He looked around the room, demanding silence with his own, and his eyes settled on RadicalFuzz. "I'll take Mafia for 500. Lynch Fu-"

A shrill "WAIT!" pierced the room, followed by a hushed curse from Alpha.

Fuzz continued. "Instead of lynching me, why don't we decide who to lynch based on this wheel I have over here? It could lynch anybody, even me!"

Missing Person and Synonym, too dumbfounded by Fuzz's ridiculous argument, couldn't stop Pimp Willy and his penchant for random outcomes. ForgeDigger and Blindknagg were indifferent, and Vynce agreed while citing some statistics about colonial America. Alpha, much to his chagrin, pulled the wheel out from backstage. It was large, seven feet tall, and commanded center stage with its bright neon lights. The wheel's design was simple, a spot for every living player. Fuzz asked Alpha to do the honors, to which he begrudgingly complied. The small ticker hit countless pegs as the wheel span, around and around, for what seemed to be minutes. Finally the wheel slowed, crawling to a halt notch by notch, until it stopped. Collectively, the entire room looked over at Augustus in the corner.

"Hey Augustus! Your name came up on the wheel so we're gonna lynch you. That cool?" Fuzz called out.

"...what?"

"I SAID WE'RE GOING TO LYNCH YOU. IS THAT COOL?"

"No, why would that be cool, you randomly decided to kill me. I'm not okay with that"

"OKAY COOL, THANKS."

The game show hosts, led by Fuzz's desperate appeal to randomness, lynched Augustus. There was little resistance, Missing Person and Synonym were both rendered unconscious by the sheer idiocy of the situation and it was difficult to hear Augustus' own argument over the frenzy. Alpha tallied the votes, confirming that Augustus had indeed been voted off the island. He pulled out his gun and shot Augustus through the head before walking over to the corpse to check his ID card.

"Well shit, he was Mafia." Alpha announced.

Fuzz seemed just as flabbergasted as everyone else. That didn't stop him from gloating, however.

"Nobody lynches the Fuzz"

Alpha's ears perked up. He held his earpiece to his ear for a moment before his face lit up with joy. "It counts!" he exlcaimed. A siren turned on, signaling the secret phrase had been spoken. Fuzz looked straight up in horror at the slime that was descending down on him. Alpha was laughing hysterically. Missing Person was waking up, saw Augustus dead, then got knocked out again. Alpha composed himself for a moment, just long enough to end the show.

"Who says there are no happy endings? Thanks for tuning in and be sure to watch next week for the next episode of Game Show Deathmatch!"



Forces of Good win!
Forces of Evil lose!




Forces of Evil:
DrWilgy - American Gladiator
Augustus - Minute to Win It


Forces of Good:
RadicalFuzz - Wheel of Fortune
Vynce - Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Synonym - Legends of the Hidden Temple
Missing Person - Jeopardy
Blindknagg - Family Feud
ForgeDigger - Double Dare 2000
Pimp Willy - The Price is Right
Aidebit - Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Synonym 2:
Spoiler for Hiden:

"It's the battle of The Mouse as two of Disney's top teen stars face off. Miley takes an early advantage by ripping at Selena’s face and slamming her hard to the mat. Standing up, Miley delivers a leg drop for two. Selena fights back, using the brawling fighting skills she learned on the tough streets of Wavely Place and catches Miley with a knee to the guts and some hard punches. Unfortunately, Selena breaks a nail and is distracted giving Miley a comeback as she tries to "Party In The USA" on Selena's face.

Miley whips Selena into the corner and Selena flips upside down. She's tied in the "tree of woe" as Miley delivers a baseball slide dropkick. Miley picks up Selena for a slam, but Selena holds on and rolls up Miley for an "Everything Is Not What It Seems" small package. Miley kicks out at two, but she's stunned and disoriented. Selena with a chick-kick that has Miley seeing "The Best of Both Worlds" as she falls to the mat. Selena reaches back and pulls her “Best Disney Starlet” hairpin free and rams it through Miley’s throat. Miley thrashes around on the mat while the Ref calls Selena on a technicality.
Selena Gomez: *Alpha*
Miley Cyrus: Cobalt"

Pimp Willy 2:

Spoiler for Hiden:
Day 0: Fall of Pixar

The world has become a strange place the last 10 years. What was once a vibrant, colorful world has had most of its joy sucked out, and replaced with despair. There was no laughter. There was no happiness. And most of all, there were no children.

In the world of Pixar, the happiness and laughter of children had been the cornerstone of the energy market. By capturing their laughter into energy canisters, Monsters Inc had grown to supply an abundance of energy to fuel the world’s needs many times over. All the other energy sources had been pushed out of the marketplace, much to their despair.

According to rumor -- spoken in secret, unless you wanted to be jailed -- Syndrome met with Sir Miles Axelrod, the creator of allinol oil, and Fred Willard, CEO of Buy N Large, the largest supplier of gasoline in the world. Together, they conspired to take Monsters Inc out of the game, shut down their supply of energy, and bring themselves back into marketplace dominance.

And so it has been for 10 years. With the world's population infertile, there are no more children, and thus no more laughter. Allinol and Buy N Large have had their stock prices skyrocket, and the private police (led by Syndrome himself) have positioned themselves as the major power in the world. None would dare oppose them.

Until one fateful day, when the chosen one appeared out of nowhere: Merida. Along with Mike and Sully, she started a resistance, explaining how she had been chosen and shown the path to restore the world to laughter. And after years of searching, they found exactly what they had been looking for: a pink door, covered in flowers, reduced to splinters. After painstakingly restoring the door, they stepped through, and brought back the one thing that could give the world hope: A child.

Boo.

Armed with the only child in the world, Scully, Mike, Merida, Buzz, Woody, Lightning McQueen, Mater and Mr Incredible seek to protect Boo from the clutches of the evils of the world, and reverse Syndromes invention keeping the world infertile.

Not to be outdone, Syndrome has created disguise devices to distort everyones perception of everyone else, and snuck into the resistance, along with Miles and Fred. Now nobody is sure of anybodies actual identity, and not sure who to trust.

It is your job to find the greedy execs, and kill them before they can foil the resistances plans.

Roles:

Execs

Resistance:

It is now Day 1. Vote Deadline is due in 36 hours. Vote bots tally is final, period. No late votes or improperly formatted votes will count.


DrWilgy 2:
Spoiler for Hiden:
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Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #88 on: April 06, 2017, 09:59:53 am »
lol I guess I didnt even read the rules. It was really a final write up contest?

Yes, how did you miss that twice?
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ForgeDigger

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #89 on: April 06, 2017, 10:21:50 am »
It was a writing contest not a reading one

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かえるおねがい!

c:

Pimp Willy

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #90 on: April 06, 2017, 01:55:05 pm »
Pretty much, I did the writeups really quick right before deadline without ever looking at anything but my theme
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Kaz is a better mafia player than I

Missing Person

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #91 on: April 06, 2017, 04:05:40 pm »
RadicalFuzz making me the Sailor Moon S fighting game is GDLK, and creepy that he stalks my Sailor Moon S playing ways.
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"I love you, you love me. Barney raped me by the sea." --Synonym
"Why do I feel like I'm being fooled by you both?  I can't find the penis.  I need to find the penis." --Augustus
"Nobody can read baby." --Pimp Willy
"Get your goddamn Battle Arena Toshinden shit out of my Tekken." --Souther
"That's when I decided to give up on my dream to become an X-Man and begin pursuing girls." --tortugagrande, champion of all our hearts.

✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #92 on: April 06, 2017, 05:39:47 pm »
RadicalFuzz making me the Sailor Moon S fighting game is GDLK, and creepy that he stalks my Sailor Moon S playing ways.

It's not stalking if you never shut the fuck up about it.
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Missing Person

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #93 on: April 06, 2017, 05:42:11 pm »
It's not stalking if you never shut the fuck up about it.

I swear to Artemis I don't have that kind of problem, the only problem is if people don't sign up to the Sailor Moon S side tournament at Evo 2017 that will be played on Super Nintendo with UD-USB converters so that people can use their modern sticks on a Super Nintendo.

And my Sailor Neptune is pretty GDLK.
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"I love you, you love me. Barney raped me by the sea." --Synonym
"Why do I feel like I'm being fooled by you both?  I can't find the penis.  I need to find the penis." --Augustus
"Nobody can read baby." --Pimp Willy
"Get your goddamn Battle Arena Toshinden shit out of my Tekken." --Souther
"That's when I decided to give up on my dream to become an X-Man and begin pursuing girls." --tortugagrande, champion of all our hearts.

Synonym

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #94 on: April 06, 2017, 07:52:35 pm »
We going to get the rest of the judging?

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Join us. Baptize yourself in the Brine, and call yourself a Brother of mine.
Lustful moans can be heard from the girls bathroom. Several moments pass and Synonym steps out of bathroom wearing only his pants. It seem's that Fleur's Chamber of Secrets isn't such a secret to his wand anymore.

jasonC

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #95 on: April 07, 2017, 02:07:03 am »
We going to get the rest of the judging?

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probably not soon from me
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Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #96 on: April 07, 2017, 05:54:52 am »
I was waiting on Jason, but I think he's too busy/didn't pay attention.

I'll post mine later today.
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jasonC

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #97 on: April 07, 2017, 05:44:50 pm »
lol don't use me as an excuse
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Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #98 on: April 09, 2017, 09:50:28 pm »
Got sick, results later today or I will have PW ban me.
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Bious

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Re: Mock Write-Up Assessment #4: FINISH THEM (Dun Dun Duuuuun)
« Reply #99 on: April 10, 2017, 09:08:43 pm »
Lol you wish I forgot.

Syn 1: Not gonna lie, this was my favorite writeup. You took a weird theme and took it a route I did not expect to go. It left me laughing (and auto-lynching you day 1 for Godzilla), you wrote it in an extremely funny style, the length was great, and even though it wasn't waifu vs waifu I think you still kept to the theme. A-, and if you ever run a Mafia game please invite me so I can read your writeups.


PW1: This was a decent writeup, but the main point of the game was closing writeups and you did a midgame one.  D-.

Cobalt 1: F.

DrWilgy 1: For a final writeup, I think you could have done more with this. The battle was too short, the buildup was horrible, and it didn't really leave me with any feeling besides you rushed it out. I like how you explained Lyon's ability, but where is Alpha's explanation? C.

Radicalfuzz 1: I like this one. I think you did about average here. The first half was great, but I think you faltered in the second half by not going further with your theme. Still, not bad. B-.

Synonym 2: C- and you know why.

Radicalfuzz 2: 2nd Best writeup in the game. You took what I thought was gonna be an average theme and ran with it. The only thing missing was game show music. B+.

PW 2: Read. C because the premise sounded interesting though.

Cobalt and Wilgy : F.

Synonym Bonus: I may print this writeup and frame it. A.

PW Bonus: Perfection. C.
Syn and Radicalfuzz tie for wins, Syn for having 2 great writeups and 1 meh one and Fuzz for being the only one to actually try on both writeups while following the rules.. Syn and PW both get bonuses for doing two writeups and playing the bonus round. Cobalt gets 50 Toogs. DrWilgy gets 25 Toogs and a Master Seal with a note that says "Give to Skizzz."
« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 09:10:09 pm by Bious »
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