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Author Topic: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters  (Read 13944 times)

✰Alpha✰

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #100 on: December 23, 2014, 08:37:48 pm »
Bious you fucker. I haven't commented here to avoid getting killed, but I just realised why you kept me alive for so long.

You made me the fucking UMvC3 RadicalFuzz of this game.
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Lynch: RadicalFuzz
Quote from: tortugagrande
That bio is the douchiest thing I have read all year, and I am an editor for yeswearedouchebags.com.

Missing Person

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #101 on: December 29, 2014, 06:32:30 am »
I'mma get this done, probably tomorrow.

I'm finally almost out of my funk, despite having a sinus infection.  Plus Hearthstone and /r/nosleep has been owning me lately, but at least the latter got me out of writer's block.
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"I love you, you love me. Barney raped me by the sea." --Synonym
"Why do I feel like I'm being fooled by you both?  I can't find the penis.  I need to find the penis." --Augustus
"Nobody can read baby." --Pimp Willy
"Get your goddamn Battle Arena Toshinden shit out of my Tekken." --Souther
"That's when I decided to give up on my dream to become an X-Man and begin pursuing girls." --tortugagrande, champion of all our hearts.

Bious

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #102 on: December 29, 2014, 02:50:46 pm »
Bious you fucker. I haven't commented here to avoid getting killed, but I just realised why you kept me alive for so long.

You made me the fucking UMvC3 RadicalFuzz of this game.

I think the best part is that you didn't figure it out until the end.

I'mma get this done, probably tomorrow.

I'm finally almost out of my funk, despite having a sinus infection.  Plus Hearthstone and /r/nosleep has been owning me lately, but at least the latter got me out of writer's block.

Gotcha.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2014, 03:12:01 pm by Bious »
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Bious

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #103 on: December 31, 2014, 10:02:45 pm »
MP don't make me hurt you.
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Simple Machine

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #104 on: January 05, 2015, 11:12:45 pm »
S-Sorry I went MIA Bious! I'll try my hardest to get caught up and send you the feedback.
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Bious

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #105 on: January 06, 2015, 12:02:48 am »
Still waiting on @Missing Person anyway, so you didn't miss much. Only reason I haven't beaten him is cause he is the last one.
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Missing Person

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #106 on: January 06, 2015, 02:16:54 am »
Sorry guys, things have been nuts getting ready to head stateside.

I will try and get this done tonight.  I have a Japanese lesson later, but I'll do my best between now and then.
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"I love you, you love me. Barney raped me by the sea." --Synonym
"Why do I feel like I'm being fooled by you both?  I can't find the penis.  I need to find the penis." --Augustus
"Nobody can read baby." --Pimp Willy
"Get your goddamn Battle Arena Toshinden shit out of my Tekken." --Souther
"That's when I decided to give up on my dream to become an X-Man and begin pursuing girls." --tortugagrande, champion of all our hearts.

Bious

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #107 on: January 12, 2015, 04:41:15 pm »
Alrighty, since @Missing Person has gone Hecatom on me I'm going to begin grading everyone when I get the chance.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2015, 05:25:59 pm by Bious »
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jasonC

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #108 on: February 18, 2015, 06:15:40 am »
Much like a grizzly bear found in the North American forests, the wild @Bious hibernates through the winter, only waking if its den is disturbed and if its collection of Betty Boop VHS tapes are in danger of being disorganized to the poi-  wait, look!  Here one approaches now!

First you will notice it's yellow, jagged teeth.  A grown Bious has a set of 59 teeth of various lengths and sizes arranged in a seemingly random order, but the wonders of evolution has created this menacing-looking dental nightmare as a natural defense mechanism to ward off predators.  In reality, this little guy is a true pescetarian.  Now let's attempt simple communication.  Come with me!

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuu"  We start with the simple greeting call.  Let's see if it respon--- oohh yes!  His ears have perked up and now we've got his attention!  I am dancing in my pants!  He is coming closer now.  Oh!  And there he goes, taking a clump of his feces and rubbing it on his cheeks.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is it's signature welcoming gesture!  Normally in the animal kingdom, the correct response would be to approach and rub your feces onto his cheek as well, but I will refrain from that today.  Instead, I shall offer up a warm farewell.  "Fuuuraaay.  Oh Bious, Yoouuuuu Fraaaay."
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Bious

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #109 on: February 18, 2015, 12:03:28 pm »
Sorry, went insane.

1st Place: JasonC
2nd: Forgedigger
3rd: Pimp Willy
4th: RadicalFuzz
5th: myusername22
Hecatom: Missing Person

JasonC comes in 1St for having two solid and witty writeups. Forgedigger has two solid writeups as well, but Jason outdid her in places. PW and Fuzz both had one good and one not-so-good writeup. Myusername22 by all rights should be last, but I had to fail MP for pulling a Hecatom.

MSPaint awards and opinions (maybe) soon.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2015, 05:56:56 pm by Bious »
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Pimp Willy

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #110 on: February 18, 2015, 06:46:19 pm »
Not that I remember what I wrote, but which was my just OK one?
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Kaz is a better mafia player than I

Missing Person

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #111 on: February 19, 2015, 02:48:26 am »
Meh, I ain't even hating.

私はロンバーガンデイですか?

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"I love you, you love me. Barney raped me by the sea." --Synonym
"Why do I feel like I'm being fooled by you both?  I can't find the penis.  I need to find the penis." --Augustus
"Nobody can read baby." --Pimp Willy
"Get your goddamn Battle Arena Toshinden shit out of my Tekken." --Souther
"That's when I decided to give up on my dream to become an X-Man and begin pursuing girls." --tortugagrande, champion of all our hearts.

ForgeDigger

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #112 on: February 19, 2015, 01:19:46 pm »
Yay~

I didn't expect to get ranked higher than Fuzz, honestly.
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かえるおねがい!

c:

RadicalFuzz

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #113 on: February 19, 2015, 05:18:30 pm »
Yeah, my second one was definitely less effective.
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Bious

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #114 on: June 05, 2015, 05:46:02 pm »
Fire and Ice

We were all tired. The boys had been arguing back and forth for hours. I had already had to stop two fights and beat the crap out of someone for trying to pull a gun on me. I was spent. Out of it. My hands were shaking and my throat dry. I needed a drink.

Quietly I snuck into the Chief's office while the boys were arguing. I reached under the desk and got his emergency flask for those rough days. I sat back and pulled a sip, thinking about everything that had happened.

The dame.

The lady in red.

The murders.

The drapes.

I slowly closed my eyes. In my mind I saw Forgedigger in a fiery dress that seemed to closely wrap around her... assets. She slowly strode towards me, a look in her eyes that sent an excited shiver down my spine. As she came up to me I reached up to feel her. She took my hand, sucked the tip of my finger, and said one word.

"Boom."

I fell out of my chair. The first thing I realized was that there was shouting. Lots of it. The second thing was that my new flask had fallen as well, spilling the alcohol. The third thing was that I smelled smoke. Getting my gun, I rushed out. One of the boys ran up to me, exhausted.

"Sir! SWBeta and Alpha were arguing, and then Alpha pulled a gun on him! Icege tackled him, but he pulled a grenade before that! He blew up and took Icege with him!"

I cursed. Alpha, that rat bastard. Always had Fuzz in the brains it seemed, but I thought I could trust him. Icege... Well, at least he did something respectful for once. I slowly put my gun away and looked at what was left of the force. Only a few men left, half of whom were dirty. We were fucked.





Finale

I left the boys sitting in the ruins of the station as I went back to the Chief's desk. There I reached under his desk again and got the Chief's best friend, Little Tommy. If I was gonna die, I at least wanted to be prepared. As I loaded it I heard a shot rang out. Rushing out, I saw SWBeta standing over Simple Machine, who had a hole in his head. From another room I heard shouting.

"You MotherFUCKER! HELP! NO! AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK-----"

Augustus dashed out, a knife in his hand. He stopped when he saw what I had. I quickly pointed my gun at Beta, who just now realized I was in the room.

"Drop it big guy," I said to Beta. Beta dropped his gun.

"You too Auggy. I see any movement, I fill you up with lead."

Auggy dropped the knife and walked over to Beta with his hands up.

"Alright, you got the drop on us. So now what?"

"Now? You killed a lot of good men here. Some of them had families. Some of them believed in justice. Some of them were my pals back when I believed in it! So now Auggy? I am Justice. This shit ends now!"

I aimed at Augustus. He flashed a shit grin at me as I pulled the trigger. Nothing. No bullets came out. Shocked, I recovered quickly enough and reached for my gun. Not there. I turned to go back in the office.

"Boom."

The shot tore through my stomach. I felt blood spill out of me. I sunk to my knees as Forgedigger looked at me, her red dress clashing with the ice in her eyes.

"Sorry Slick. I wanted to let you live, but you got too close. Should've got out while you could have."

She walked over to Augustus and Beta, who tipped her hats at her.

"Get the goods and guns from here, and get the wagon ready. We're out of here."

As the two left, I spat up blood as I tried to talk.

"Y----you bitch... Why..."

Forgedigger turned to me, a cold look in her eyes.

"You were too easy to wind up ace. I needed someone who I could manipulate into getting the force into a panic so my boys could do their work. You did... Perfectly."

I should have realized. No body was found. The red dress taunting. The red drapes in the Chief's office. Pimp Willy being killed too quickly. All from the beginning she had played me like the fool I was.

She went into the office and tore the drapes down. She then put them over me like a blanket.

"There we go. At least you'll die the way you lived: in the red."

Finally Forge knelled over me.

"You are a real stiff though. You worked your ass off for the truth and died for nothing. I think you knew this was hopeless and stuck out just because you were so stubborn though."

Forgedigger came closer, a slight tremble in her voice.

"If only you got out..."

She kissed my forehead. A tear fell from her eye and splashed across my cheek.  Wiping her eyes, she walked out of the station towards her boys, who had raided the evidence locker. As she looked back, she gave Beta a nod. Beta lit a match and threw it next to some cans, then got in the car. As they drove away Forge never stopped looking at the station until it was out of sight, and even then she continued to watch the smoke in the sky as the station burned down.

I laid there, silently bleeding out. Everything was growing dim. It was burning all around me. The drapes over me had already caught fire, but I couldn't feel myself burning. I guess that's a small mercy. Slowly I watch everything around me burn orange, then swirl into a red dance of light. Finally, there was only black.



THE END
MAFIA WIN
« Last Edit: June 11, 2015, 06:14:44 pm by Bious »
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Bious

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #115 on: June 05, 2015, 05:54:10 pm »
Not that I remember what I wrote, but which was my just OK one?

I think your first one was.
Been a long while.
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Bious

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Re: Mock Mafia Write-Up Assessment #1: Cops and Gangsters
« Reply #116 on: June 05, 2015, 06:01:15 pm »
Also look how @Blindknagg gets enforced as the UC in THREE games.
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