Okay, so Pimp Willy might have made a mistake. When it was time to transfer, I took a snapshot of the old database and uploaded it to the new database, so that it would feel like nothing was missed with the move.
Only I fucked up.
I snapshotted the NEW database and copied it over the old database. Effectively sending the past week or two of posts into the abyss for all time.
But we are fine moving forward. So enjoy the new site, with less downtime, logout issues, and more power than ever!